ComCare Financial Assistance Application mandarin VO + "Selfish, Shallow and self-absorbed: Sixteen writers on the decision not to have kids" +《今夜一起为爱鼓掌》+

4/8/25 Mon: It has been five months since I finished recording the mandarin VO for Ministry of Social and Family Development's Comcare video, and it's finally released today~ *enjoyed listening to my own narration haha~* Every time, I learn from the experience as I listened to the final product. Together with the animation, it matters that I slow down in my narrations and be gentler to suit their target audience, in this case. Recalling how I wrap things up in 1.5 hours, and seeing how everything's put together, it certainly makes me happy. *Wish to keep doing VOs and challenging myself in the industry!*

Wheel Yoga this morning with Anne was okay. She does push her students, but I take my breaks when I need to. 

Also found out that amoxicillin should be the cause of my loose stools and farts these two days. It’s mild for me, but it is apparently a known side effect of antibiotics because they upset the balance of the bacteria in our gastrointestinal tract. Good for me to know so in future, I can notify the doctors should they want to give me amoxicillin again.

5/8/25 Tues: I don't think I often "call out" a food for being "not nice". I would like to appreciate chefs or those that work in the kitchen tirelessly to fill our stomach, but this seafood fried rice ($5) I had at Dolly Fish at my hawker centre downstairs is terrible. Granted they specialise in fish soup, which was not bad, they had come up with other food options like ba chor mee, fried chicken wings, duck noodle, lala bee hoon etc due to the lack of choices at the hawker, but this was bad. I tasted a lot of pepper in it, and then there's only two prawns, two small pathetic sotong, eggs, shallots, onions and garlic. Furthermore, the uncle had very bad memory seeing how he ask customers before me to repeat their orders again and again. I waited 20 minutes for this, just for him to "finish" serving all other customers that ordered food that could be prepared in quicker time. I cannot recall when was the last time I "wasted" food already, but I'm guilty I did this time... only ate the seafood and 1/5 of the rice. 

To my surprise, I found this ginger cat with soft fur loitering outside the area near my unit when I came out of the lift! Somebody must have brought him up and he was very clingy haha. When I led him back to the lift and down, one Malay neighbour shared with me he has an owner, but the cat would come to my block every morning to wait for one guy and would leave with that guy every time, but don't know what happened today though?

Potato cooked from a new recipe on his Tik Tok list keke~ mushroom miso udon! He had milk, miso, cheese and butter in the base, and added sausage, spinach, chicken, spring onions and baby portobello mushrooms. I can taste both the miso and the milk in the soup evenly~ We added black pepper when eating and it lifted the taste even further.

6/8/25 Weds: Spent $38 using CDC voucher for a haircut, hair detox treatment with massage and wash-off~ think it's quite worth it but I was reluctant to sign their packages of $48 each for 20 times or $68 each for 10 times. It's also been more than 10 years since I cut fringe~ which is said to make one look younger lol.

Tried cooking honey pork belly slices with honey, garlic, oyster sauce and light soy sauce~ Potato quite liked it! 

7/8/25 Thurs: Pilates reformer this morning was quite tiring for me, especially when we worked the quads standing on the reformer.

Bought magnetic Reversi game, logic puzzle and simple sudoku for dad, hoping to replace his boring weekends of sleeps with some activities, as well as to exercise his memory. At least he showed enthusiasm when he saw Reversi, and I taught him how to play.

8/8/25 Fri: Tried the Australian orange with red flesh that mum bought for $2.95 for three. It was sweet and there’s that hint of grapefruit, so I wonder if it was a hybrid or blood orange?

Tried a set of Yin Yoga exercises for blood circulation and digestion, and it was quite hard to maintain some of the poses for three minutes each! This saddle pose especially killed me, even worse than the frog pose, which opens up the hip. My quads were almost burning and felt like tearing up from this. I also felt my knees, which I probably shouldn’t. Shall do an easier variation next time.

Finished reading "Selfish, Shallow and self-absorbed: Sixteen writers on the decision not to have kids" by Meghan Daum. It was sometimes an eye-opening read, but not all information were new, with regards to their opinions on not having children.

"My womb has always been empty, but my life is full". What a statement from one of the writers. A childless friend of one of theirs said, "I will never regret not having children. What I regret is that I live in a world where in spite of everything, that decision is still not quite okay." It seems unreasonable, not to mention sexist, to suggest that because all women have the biological capacity to have children, they all should; and that those who don't are either in denial or psychologically damaged. 

Once upon a time, and driven by traditional views, people who marry but reject procreation is seen as unnatural. A woman who confesses never to have felt the desire for a baby might even be considered a freak. In many parts of the world, women have been raised to believe they would not be complete and could not be thought to have succeeded in life without the experience of being a mum. 

What if I have no desire? Regardless of external factors and tradition, it has never been there. Not that I come from a broken family, albeit my parents do quarell, and I got along very well with kids when I was much younger, but it's just I knew from young I'd love to be married, and am lucky for my wonderful Potato (who made it clear that sharing his life with me was what mattered most to him), but that ideal picture of a marriage never included kids. *Oh I'm definitely against the irresponsible saying of“生了再说”.*  But I'm also curious to know why people would "go against the majority" and stuck to their beliefs.

One main thing I'd agree a lot, and which is probably also trending is the concept of "being in the now". I quote: "To be ridiculously sweeping: baby boomers and their offspring have shifted emphasis from the communal to the individual, from the future to the present, from virtue to personal satisfaction. We are concerned with leading less a good life than the good life. In contrast to our predecessors, we seldom ask ourselves whether we serve a greater purpose; we are more likely to ask ourselves if we are happy. We give little thought to the perpetuation of lineage, culture, or nation; we take our heritage for granted. We are ahistorical. We measure the value of our lives within the brackets of our own births and deaths, and we're not especially bothered with what happens once we're dead. As we age, we are apt to look back on our pasts and question not did I serve family, God, and country, but did I ever get to Cuba, or run a marathon? Did I take up landscape painting? Was I fat? We will assess the success of our lives in accordance not with whether they were righteous, but with whether they were interesting and fun. If that package sounds like one big moral step backward, the Be Here Now mentality that has converted from sixties catchphrase to entrenched gestalt has its upsides. There has to be some value in living for today, since at any given time today is all you've got.

Yet the biggest social casualty of Be Here Now is children, who have converted from requirement to option, like heated seats for your car. In deciding what in times past never used to be a choice, we don't consider the importance of raising another generation of our own people, however we might choose to define them. The question is whether kids will make us happy.

However rewarding at times, raising children can also be hard, trying, and dull, inevitably ensnaring us in those sucker values of self-sacrifice and duty. The odds of children making you happier are surely no better than fifty-fifty. Studies have repeatedly documented that the self-reported "happiness" index is lower among parents than among the childless."

In present days, it's almost never about affordability or advanced medical technology that stops people from having kids, it's how much we put self first. Do I care if human perish in future? Not really. Not carrying on the family lineage? I am concerned because of my mum's influence since I was much younger, but deep down, again, no one will be able to care once they pass.

Personally, I don't think external factors like continuation of human population ("Not having children is seen as supremely selfish, as though the people having children were selflessly sacrificing themselves in a valiant attempt to ensure the survival of our endangered species and fill up this vast and underpopulated island of ours. LOL~), 传宗接代, religious views should influence a single bit why I want to have a child. The only reason should be that I love my child, and wants to educate and give him or her everything, albeit we should not be hoping for anything in return (which intriguingly, is the mindset in many older folks). I do admit, the selfish me always thought of the concept of 养儿防老, but nowadays, I see more and more世事无常。Do I want to go through the sufferings or miseries if he or she is not who I want them to be? I don't. 

Then, there's another writer's pov that I laughed and agreed with too: "Kids talk so much. They require their parents' undivided attention on demand. They require oceans of energy and attention. No matter how much you love your kids, they're always there, and you are entirely responsible for them, and this goes on for many, many years. Children exhaust us."

But I'm not against my friends having kids, even if it's a fact it will distance us for some time in the kids' growing up years, and the fact we cannot escape topics on their kids when we meet up. But like this writer here, it also doesn't tempt me into motherhood: "Trivial as it may sound, I'm thrilled I never had to set foot in Disneyland (or feel guilty about not taking someone there), or worry about playdates or, down the road, online pornography and all the other scourges of adolescence. I don't miss any of it." I seriously am glad I don't like going to places like Disneyland lol.

Just as I wonder, I saw Buddhism's take on having children. 佛教认为，世间万物都由因缘和合而成，没有子女是因缘使然，没有儿女也是福报。儿女本是前世债，好债还债，有债才来。前世不欠今生不见，今生相见必定有亏欠。如若无债找谁还债？放下执着轻松自在。人类这一生的福报还是会体现在生命其他方面上，我们只要不断行善积德就好。

佛教认为，每个人的命运都由过去的业力所决定，包括生育。佛教更强调，人生的价值不在于是否有后代，而在于修行，在于解脱轮回。

但有孩子的话是因为父母跟子女有缘，佛教把这个缘大致分为四种：报恩、还债（供养父母，但缺乏恭敬心和孝顺心，所以父母老了物质没问题，但还是觉得精神孤单）、讨债（欠的都还了就会离开）and抱怨/报仇（给你惹祸的败家子）的。

我挺欣赏这种“顺其自然”的看法的。事出必有因，不是吗？没孩子的话，我多出的时间可以陪陪自己年迈的父母和家人们，还有做自己想要做的事情，过我要过的人生。

Regrets? Both parents and non-parents will have regrets, small or big, down the road, no matter which path they take. But surely, one can't miss what one has never had.

Rating: 3.75/5

Potato cooked minced pork collar, celery and baby portobello mushrooms with spaghetti in tomato sauce for dinner~

PotaTOHs also finally finished watching《今夜一起为爱鼓掌》after so long.

宋青语(Ella饰）因心理障碍无法和和老公林书哲（杨祐宁饰）行房，就找到了高中同学兼性治疗师张佳晨（杨谨华饰）来帮忙自己。最后，他俩发现彼此的未来并不一致：青语不愿有小孩，但书哲渴望当爸爸，再相爱的关系也只好以离婚收场。替他们觉可惜，但也提醒着所有情侣们恋爱和结婚真的是两回事。俩人必须在婚前说好一些未来的事情，毕竟除非一方愿意改变，否则难以维持到老啊。

挺喜欢这部剧的，探讨得很多，有关两性关系、性爱（呈现得颇大胆）、同性恋、忘年恋等。幽默搞笑，而且Ella和杨祐宁分别把思虑过多的宋青语和孩子气过盛的林书哲演得很好。

Rating: 3.75/5

9/8/25 Sat: Ian and Linh came over to PotaTOH's to watch three episodes of "Squid Game 3" but the main reason was to catch SG 60 NDP live telecast together haha. It was a pleasant show. We had KFC for dinner and PotaTOHs agreed their chilli crab man tou was better than Macdonald's chilli crab shrimp burger.

10/8/25 Sun: Potato cooked winter gourd soup with carrots, Hokkaido scallops and red dates~ nice! He also pan-fried teriyaki salmon cubes on top of cabbage, carrot slices and king oyster shrooms. *No complaints when I have to work and my doting big cat cooks! <3*

11/8/25 Mon: Both Linh and I liked Margareth’s intermediate reformer class this morning too. We did half the class using the Wunda chair and moves like “elephant” and tricep lifting were not easy. Did the other easier half on the reformer bed.

Potato cooked meatless somen with edamame, cherry tomatoes, Japanese cucumber and sunny side-up in Masa’s sour and savoury sauce~ so shiok!

12/8/25 Tues: Potato bought MOS Burger sets ($19.5) for dinner after his practice run. The prawn burger was meh though, I still like KFC’s mantou burger most. But the prawn soup from MOS was good.

Boyd was nice to give us a red grouper he caught from Sarawak at night!

13/8/25 Weds: Tried this set of Yin Yoga sequence in the morning and they were challenging! I couldn't even hold camel pose for 10 second because of my achy back and neck, so I have to do modified ones in future. My right arm was night and achy when I tried to stretch it in牛面式. Frog pose for five minutes is tough but I managed to pull through lol. *I should continue doing some of them like frog pose because it's very beneficial.* I could do the saddle pose today but I felt it in my lower back, so I definitely need it modified in future if I ever do the same pose again. Side stretches felt really good for my usual achy left lower back. 

14/8/25 Thurs: Simple and quick lunch done up in half an hour for myself with hot soba, pork belly slices, chinese cabbage and cherry tomatoes.

15/8/25 Fri: Potato taught me how to descale the red grouper using the back of the knife, before he fillet it to cook with the ichiran ramen. The noodles and soup were yummy, albeit the skin of the fish felt a bit too chewy for eating. *He bought pink gerbera from Jurong Point because it’s our monthsary tmr~ <3* 

16/8/25 Sat: After lyrics' class in the afternoon, I headed to Expo's NATAS Fair to pay off the remaining $7,958 balance for PotaTOH's Europe trip end of the year. It was packed with people, and the Maybank booth and LGE Travel's booth were so far apart, so it took me a while to walk to and fro. Redeemed at 28" Samsonite luggage and the wheels felt very smooth!

Ahna came to pick me up and we headed to Jewel to have her belated birthday dinner at Gwangjang Gaon because she'd been craving for it since it just opened in July. We shared the Bossam ($43.90++),  in which the pork belly was said to be simmered in preserved broth for hours, but I don't think it was yet "melt-in-your-mouth" texture though.

The Modm-Jeon ($29.90++) was an interesting "mini jeon platter" with zucchini, ground pork, crabstick, pollack, and prawn patty. I thought the pork one was too salty, the prawn one too peppery but the pollack and crabstick one was not bad. The starter we had was Chogye-Nangchae ($18.90++), a cold dish comprising shredded chicken, cabbage, crabstick, pears, green onions and capsicums with vinegar and mustard soy dressing. It was quite nice but I also tasted a dash of wasabi somewhere in the dish.

We had canned sik hye each ($4.5), which has been my biased Korean drink all along lol. Bill came up to $129+, which was pricey, but well, that's Jewel for you. 

After that, Ahna treated us to cakes at Paris Baguette~ the hazelnut cake stood out the most for me. Was a nice catch-up and talks with the ladies as usual before Ahna sent us home.

17/8/25 Sun: Potato stir-fried sotong, shrimps, scallops and cabbage in gochugang and tom yam sauce and we had it with cold soba~ a bit on the heavier side but still nice!