"If You Live to 100, You Might as Well Be Happy" + badminton with Jess & PH +《玫瑰的故事》+《人生没什么不可放下：弘一法师的人生智慧，找回安适自在的自己》+ XY's 35th bday lunch @ Dumpling Darlings
17/5/25 Sat: Finished reading Rhee Kun Hoo's "If You Live to 100, You Might as Well Be Happy".
I have definitely learned some precious words of advice from psychiatrist Rhee, who was born in 1935 to a business family that went bust, went through Japan's occupation in Korea, been to jail and eventually became a doctor and avid mountain climber.
He is facing old age with such grace. I am in my adulthood but far from the age of an "elderly", which is defined as 79 to 99 years in general, but sometimes I do wonder how I should live life when I'm old and how do I go about steering my thoughts around it.
Some important principles I learned from Rhee are like forgiving people around us because we cannot afford to waste energy on hating people if we want happiness for ourselves, but only forgiving ourselves would mean liberation; accepting our parents for who they are, even if they may have hurt us unknowingly at times, because there's only so much time we can be with them in life.
Rhee's retired life is fulfilling because he stayed inquisitive and took the time to enrich himself, despite his medical conditions and blindness etc. He shared Anna Mary Robertson Moses first tried her hands at painting at 75 and left around 1,600 paintings when she died at 101 years old! "Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
Live and stay true to one self; go for what we truly desire and that's the key to happiness.
Also, I agree that as we age, our professional world decreases in scale, so we cannot sought our sense of purpose only from work, because one can end up going through a huge identity crisis or feel utterly useless after retirement. We should also start, as early as possible, to have a whole range of interests and hobbies and indulge in the pure joy of doing something for the heck of it! *Volunteering sounds like a nice thing to do.* This is something I'd been doing in my life too but, Rhee did assure one can have new interests in their old age too haha.
As for the fear of death for most people, Rhee "practised day by day and prepared little by little" to prepare himself in welcoming this "unwanted guest" the day it arrives at his doorstep. He keeps a very open mind about this, which I would think is the key too.
About money... British psychologist coined "Money Sickness Syndrome" because people, regardless of their savings, live with a nagging sense that something could go wrong, so there's this constant thirst for money. I am guilty too, from time to time, and it boils down to ignorance. Many are afraid of old age and death and constantly worry we won't have enough money. But Rhee reminded us to be in control and that money's a mean and not an end. After some thoughts all these while, I'm more willing to spend on experiences I want to have now and not wait, because money can be earned after all while youth does not wait.
Rhee also pointed out that simplicity is important in old age, for financial choices, lifestyle, emotions and inner world. We cannot afford to get so worked up easily in old age since the body's no longer as robust. Clear out our places like Marie Kondo, and accept and express our feelings candidly.
Last but not least, 尽人事，待天命！As long as we live our life to the fullest, there'd be no room for regrets.
Rating: 4/5
Potato cooked chicken and spinach with shimeiji shrooms and king oyster mushrooms cream pasta for lunch~ yummy!
19/5/25 Mon: Did a few different stretches in PL's deep stretch class this morning which I believe is helpful for me, especially my stiff back haha.
Potato cooked claypot rice in the cooker with cabbage, king oyster mushrooms and spinach for dinner~ his mixture of chicken broth, miso, mirin, soy sauce, black pepper and chilli oil worked well for the rice too. It came out a bit mushy, and the spinach tasted more like preserved veggie now, but I quite liked the overall taste.
Potato cooked teriyaki chicken somen for dinner~ he wanted to keep the taste simple. He did the pretty plating first before pouring the soup made with soy sauce, mirin, sugar, chicken stock, yellow onions and water.
It has quite s simple, “no-frills” taste to it, and the chicken that was mixed in for 15mins or so was nicely marinated and tender too!
22/5/25 Thurs: Only three students in Jac’s pilates reformer class this morning and we worked some parts tough… like my biceps haha.
23/5/25 Fri: My first Ashtanga basics class with Kaylor this morning and it’s been a while since I did yoga in a non air-conditioned studio haha. Definitely sweated because moves like downward dog and chaturanga were done repeatedly. Re-visited some yoga moves that I haven’t done in a while and some were tiring.
24/5/25 Sat: Quick blood test consultation at the polyclinic this morning. My LDL of 1.3mmol/L is the lowest I've seen so far, and with HDL and triglyceride levels all okay, I asked the doctor and he reckoned I could half the dosage and try it out for six months. As for iron level, he said my haemoglobin level is still within the acceptable range, albeit the ferritin is very slightly off the reference range, we can still monitor and not eat iron supplement for now.
25/5/25 Sun: Potato stir-fried 300g of pork belly slices with onions and garlic~ sweet and yummy! The lotus and carrot soup in pork soup bone was nice too, but the brocolli could be a bit softer haha.
26/5/25 Mon: PL did the same sequence for deep stretch class this morning. While I was trying out the splits, I realised I always have this weird ache under my right knee when I push myself further. But, for a brief moment during partner yoga, as I flexed my right foot further, I felt the relief from under the right knee! Happy but when I try to go further more, I can feel it again and I think this is my max for now.
PotaTOHs tried Vermix vegetables at Le Quest for meatless dinner. Brown rice with any four sides would cost $5.6. I thought the fried cauliflower stood out the most. Their shimeiji shrooms and “chicken meatballs” were nice too.
Finished watching《玫瑰的故事》on Viu.
也挺喜欢她哥哥黄振华（佟大为饰）可爱的人设的哈哈。他和苏更生（万茜饰）很配。
Rating: 3.75/5
27/5/25 Tues: Potato taught me how to pan fry dumplings better tonight. We had edamame and shimeiji shrooms with the remaining bok choy to go with cold soba for dinner.
28/5/25 Weds: Ishra let us do a set of moves in gyrotonics together with music and it was fun, but I'm not sure how much I remembered to pay attention to my shoulders as I went through it lol.
读完了宋默著的《人生没什么不可放下：弘一法师的人生智慧，找回安适自在的自己》.
我有好多好喜欢的其中道理想要分享。例如最开始的“恬淡”。弘一法师认为恬淡是“养心第一法”。他所讲的“恬淡”，归根究柢就是要人静心。世间的事纷纷扰扰容易扰乱人的心境。所以，很多人认为自己心不静， 是因为有太多事情在干扰。其实，扰乱我们的不是纷扰的世事，而是不静的心。内心恬淡的人，即使穿的是布衣，吃的是粗茶淡饭，也能悠然自得，没有一丝不适和不快的感觉；即使面对烦恼和生死，也能安然对待，心中不生一丝痛苦的波澜。所以他主张要从养心和养性开始养生。心中有诸多烦恼，有万般欲念，就算身体再健康，也不过是一具躯壳罢了。我们现代人整体讲“养生”，但很多时候就只是表面，不是吗？
谈到“欲望”，他说一个心中装满欲望的人，即使身居深山古剎也无法平静；一个内心无欲无求的人，即使住在闹市也不会觉得喧嚣浮躁。世上的烦恼多，皆因世人把自我看得太重，所以才会产生很多欲望和烦恼。
欲望太多会成为枷锁，我们要定期清理欲望（例如冲动要购物的时候可以多等几天后再看还想不想买？）。人要少欲，就没有牵挂，忧虑也没有了，心就安了，人就快乐了。但即使欲望不多，但如果时时处于不满足的痛苦状态中，对我们的身心也是有害的。所以，最好的办法就是知足常乐。知足，不是要我们没有追求、没有想法、停滞不前，而是不要为欲望暂时的不能满足而感到痛苦，乃至影响到自己的情绪和身体。人的欲望是永无止境的。不知足，正是我们感到不快乐的根源。知足的人，因为放下执着，即使自己的人生不完美，目标不能完全实现,他也会觉得人生是一样的美好。
如果当下只有一个馒头，我觉得知足，今天没有饿肚子，有多麼幸福; 如果当下有一桌山珍海味，我也知足，人生可以有这么大的幸福，我还有什麼不开心的？因为知足，内心便富足。不知足的人，即使他是百万富翁，也还是个穷人。
我们总是抱怨自己拥有的太少，却忽略了我们已经拥有的。等到失去之后，才会知道自己以前是身在福中不知福，后悔自己没有好好珍惜。其实，如果一个人生活富足到了挥金如土的地步，也就是他的福气即将用尽的时候。也直到那时候，我们才会知道以前自己是多么的富有。可惜的是，在富有的时候，我们却一天快乐的日子也没有享受过，即使我们的日子并没有那么富足，但只要用心安排我们的生活，一样可以体会到幸福。即使一碗白饭也自有它的甜味，一样可以品味出属于你的那一份幸福。而很多人往往是在飢肠轆轆时，才知道一碗白饭的香味。在你柴米油盐的平淡生活中，能够心满意足，甚至能够将福气少用几分，存起来留待日后慢慢品味，而不至于一次用尽。这是我要学会的！
说到“知止”，宋默分享了李嘉诚的办公室中悬挂着“知止”二字的条幅，以此来警策自己凡事适可而止。在李嘉诚看来，世上之事，都遵循着“物极必反”的原理，过度的行为只能导致失败的结局。只有懂得“知止”才不会在事业最鼎盛之时跌入低谷。钱财多失在不知止上，总想以贪婪之心占尽天下大小之利，巴不得满盘皆收、皇家通吃。
教育孩子他也有方针：弘一法师讲的：“我们即使有十分福气，也只好享受三分，所余的可以留到以后去享受。” 小孩子是很容易满足的。如果父母每天都给孩子很多糖吃，这个孩子未必会觉得有多么开心，但如果每周只许他吃一次糖，他就会很期待，也会觉得糖很甜,、到很满足。这个孩子长大了，在生活上也会比较节制；相反地，那些从小就要风得风、要雨得雨的孩子，因为父母在他们小时候就把这一辈子该享的福气享尽了，长大了，他反而因为自己要什么有什么而丝毫感觉不到快乐。
再来，我很喜欢弘一法师“咸有咸的滋味，淡有淡的味道”这一句很有禅意的话。夏丏尊在《生活的艺术》一文中写道：“在弘一法师的世界裡，一切都好。白被衣、破卷席和旧毛巾一样好，青菜、萝卜和白开水同样好。咸也好，淡也好，样样都好，能在琐碎的日常生活中咀嚼出它的全部滋味，能以欢愉的心情观照出人生的本来面目……”
我试过很累的时候、也就是极渴的时候，发现水是很甜的。人在极饿时，粗茶淡饭就是世上最美味的东西。这并不是错觉，而是因为我们带着感恩的心去享用它们。相反地，如果没有感恩之心，就算天天吃大鱼大肉，也会觉得索然无味。而就算是生命的苦味、咸味，如果我们带着感恩、惜福的心态去看待它们，也会觉得那是人生最好的一种滋味。
我有时候会觉得运动很累，但弘一法师说的“劳动是上天赋予的生活方式”会是我日后劳动的动力。他说劳动是幸福的。我们之所以难以体会到，是因为我们过度关注劳动本身，忽略了劳动为我们带来什么。劳动让我们付出了大量的时间和精力，但是同样给予了我们心灵的满足。当我们看着自己的劳动成果，就会发现一切辛苦都是值得的,因为我们有所收获；因为我们完成了心中的志愿。我们不应该把眼光放在劳动本身带给我们的伤痛，而应该关注劳动带给我们的好处。只有这样，我们才能发现劳动的幸福所在。虽然劳动有时候会让我们感到疲惫不堪，但是我们的人生在劳动中得到了充实。我们在劳动中懂得了生活的艰辛，明白了幸福的真义。
至于令我莫名害怕的“死亡”议题，书中说大多数人都厌恶死亡，希望自己能够长生。但是自然规律是不可逆转的，谁也不能享受特殊的待遇。人都会死亡，看不破生死的人，便会畏惧死亡，担心自己过早地死去，但人终究要面对这一天，只是面对的时候，我们才发现，自己竟然没有好好地活过，或者因为活得太好，不免留恋。只是，不管你是留恋还是悔恨，总是要死的。在你留恋或者悔恨的时候，你活着的时间又少了一刻，倒不如利用那一刻，赶紧做点事情。大概就是要人专注生活，不要去想“死亡”的事情就是了。
最后，分享我很喜欢的一则“真正的幸福”的故事：
有一个人很苦恼地向一位智者请教：“几十年来，我一直在追求真正的幸福。我非常努力，但为什么我得到的永远都是痛苦呢?” “你是怎样追求幸福的呢?”智者问。“年轻时，我住在一个小镇上。我努力让自己成为小镇上最幸福的人；后来，我 搬到了一个小城，我努力让自己成为小城里最幸福的人；再后来，我移居到大都市，我又努力让自己成为这个都市里最幸福的人。我一直在追求着幸福，可是幸福就像天边的云彩，总是离我那麼远。”中年人愁眉苦脸地说。
“你并没有在追求幸福，又怎么会幸福呢?” “我一直在追求世上最好的幸福，你怎麼能这么说呢?” “你追求的只是‘比别人幸福’，而不是在追求属你自己的幸福!”智者说。
在这个世界上,永远有别人比我们更幸福。当我们总是追求“最幸福”时，便永远无法得到幸福，所以我们便会在烦恼、嫉妒、焦虑和不安的折磨中，产生深深的痛苦。
这里我再同意不过的话是：幸福不是和别人比出来的，而是自己感觉出来的。
有位大师说过：“玫瑰就是玫瑰，莲花就是莲花，只要去看，不要比较。” 别人的优秀和出色，固然可以为我们所借鉴，但自己还是自己。
在这个世界上，每个人都是独一无二的。我们不必按着别人的标准去决定自己该做什么、不该做什么，或者因外在的评价和压力而使自己的情绪受到干扰、意志被动摇。一个有主见的人，知道哪个是真正的自己，哪个自己是真正幸福的。每个人都有自己的生活方式。你也许羡慕别人的生活比你快乐，也许认为别人的日子过得比你有趣，然而，别人的生活再好、再有趣，未必就适合你。生活中，我们在选择专业、工作、生活方式的时候都会面对这样一个问题 -- 什么是最好的呢？其实，这个世界上根本就没有最好的，只有最适合你的。找到适合你的，就是找到了最好的。适合自己的生活才是最幸福的。我们总是习惯向上看，和那些比自己过得好的人相比，所以无论我们拥有多少，都不能令我们幸福。如果我们能够低下头，看一看那些比自己拥有更少的人，就会知道自己何其幸福。以这样的心态来看待生活，那即使我们身陷困境，也会感到幸福，因为拥有生命本身就是人生最大的幸福。
一个人是否成功，不在于自己比他人优秀多少，在于他在精神上能否得到幸福和满足。所以，淡定的人，永远不会在乎别人怎样评价自己，是得是失、是痴是愚、是成是败，这些都不能成为干扰我们幸福的因素。赢又如何？输又如何？我只做我自己，过我自己的日子。我的幸福与任何人无关，只与我自己的心有关。
弘一法师其他很“点醒”我的观点包括宽恕原谅他人等于释放自己心灵的痛苦、不要浪费精力去理会诽谤你的人、生气的时候不要做任何决定而要静坐稳定情绪、不要沉浸于过去、憧憬着未来而忽略了现在、遇到不如意的事情要坦然接受、少说闲话避免祸从口出、富穷得失不过人生瞬间（得意淡然，失意泰然）、提醒自己用养成另一个好习惯来改掉坏习惯、付出为享受付出的快乐而不计较失去的损失、利他才能利己、别为“虚名”说言不由衷的话；做身不由己的事而是要让自己“无名”一身轻、做事不能三心二意而要连贯没有间断地朝自己所努力的方向和目标前进、众生平等所以要以同等高度对待其他生灵且珍惜自然、活着就要心怀感恩且知恩图报、以“出世”的心态做人；以“入世”的心态做事。
当然，我也有看懂，但觉得做不了的事情，如庄子曰：“有人之形，无人之情。”意思是我们只需要具备人的形状就可以了，无须有人的七情六欲。无情不是没有情，而是无俗情。无情者无畏，可以完美一生。“情”是世人痛苦的根源，也是幸福的根源，但要斩断“情”，我大概一辈子做不到吧。
放下不等于放弃，放下也并不意味着失去。放下，意味着你的人生将重新开始。放下昨天的感情，意味着我们将获得另一段更为真挚的感情；放下昨天的事业，意味着你将重新开始另一份更适合你的事业。明明已经不快乐了,为什麼还不放下?因为贪心的本性使然，因为害怕放下便一无所有，因为你曾经为之付出太多的努力。我的天呀，太同意这些话了。
对我而言，也许就是认真地生活、问心无愧地过完一生最重要吧。
以前真的很抗拒读“从右到左、从上到下”的中文书，但我如今才发现只要我喜欢，这样读根本不成阻碍而是享受哦！读完后内心有一种满到要溢出来的喜悦，不言而喻。太爱不释手啦~
Rating: 5/5
Tried the lemongrass chicken banh mi ($7), pork banh mi ($7) and two fresh spring rolls ($4.5) from Linda Banh Mi. I liked the marinate with the chicken banh mi, though I still think it’s on the pricier side. The spring rolls were okay.
29/5/25 Thurs: Linh, Jenny and I were in Pilates reformer with Jac this morning. We worked the glutes pretty hard with the leg lifts and circles haha!
30/5/25 Fri: Met XY for her 35th birthday lunch ($71+) at Dumpling Darlings at Circular Road. We had the dumpling platter (five flavours of three each), she ordered the lunch set of prawn noodles (fresh~) while I had my usual mushroom noodles~ it was a lot seriously!
Then, we went to Tea Pulse because I’d been wanting to try their chestnut pearls for some time. Had their white daisy kombucha with chestnut pearls ($6.8) while XY tried their yuzu one ($6.4). Mine was sweet and sour, and the chestnut pearls were sweet and crunchy!
31/5/25 Sat: Started to make inroads on the songs for our songwriting camp coming up on 5th July. MX and I, as well as Anne and I have decided on the themes for our songs... after that it's probably crunch time to finish writing the two lyrics before our camp. *Felt nice that the group of us were finally "communicating" after four months into the course lol.*
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