Why Buddhism Is True + dad’s Dementia screening @ Brahm Centre + baking with PY & Fran + Tuition with Triston + moving stuff to new house + PotaTOHs' house renovation misc + shopping for CNY reunion dinner
It all began with this video-sharing on the practice of Meditation that I learnt about the book. I began to do meditation, aka experiencing whatever I’m experiencing mindfully, since the COVID-19 lockdown as and when I can, and I do see its benefits like slowing down the heart rate almost instantaneously, reducing stress and calming the mind. What was most intriguing for me is that it allows me to “pause” negative feelings like sadness, anxiety, or anger, almost for me to “observe” and then for them to ebb pretty much after meditating. We lessen misleading or unproductive feelings in this way, and spend less time on unnecessary effort like getting angry over reckless drivers, being calculative over small matters with family members or spouse etc.
In Wright’s book, the focus is on what he calls Western Buddhism or secular Buddhism, which is not about reincarnation and the supernatural stuff, but about meditation as a therapeutic practice. He says that as we train ourselves to focus our attention on the present moment, the breath and the body, we start to see that most of our thoughts are petty and our emotions are fleeting. Through this practice, the “self” starts to dissolve (the concept of “non-self” in Buddhism) and we can be more aware of other people and build something like a broader consciousness.
He touched on Vipassana teaching, in which the ultimate purpose of meditation is to gain insights (“three marks of existence”… impermanence, dukkha and not-self), and to see reality with true clarity as to pave the path to enlightenment. It’s interesting when I read that the stuff the human body is made of is not under our control, nor are our feelings. “If feelings were self, then feelings would not lead to affliction,” and we’d be able to change our feelings according to what we want to feel, but the fact that we can’t, hence feelings, together with the body (form), perceptions, mental formations and consciousness are “not-self”. We cannot control them, nor do they persist through time, so the core Buddhist argument that “self doesn’t exist”, so they discourage us from clinging onto emotions and thoughts etc. *The “you’re real, but you’re not really real” concept does get confusing though.* From there, we moved into “liberation”: changing the relationship between your consciousness and the things you normally think of as its “contents” – your feelings, thoughts and so on. Once you realise these are “not-self”, the relationship of your consciousness to them becomes more like contemplation than engagement, and your consciousness is liberated. So, when practising meditation, we’re learning to disengage with some of the “not-self”. I also like how they explained disengagement does not mean you will become more “cold”, i.e. parents who meditate intensively doesn’t come to love their children less intensely, but instead allow parental love to become less possessive, which in turn produces a happier parent and child than what a controlling kind of love would produce.
The technique in meditation that fights off our urge (but not push the urge out of the mind) is helpful too: RAIN. Recognise, Accept, Investigate the feelings and its relationship to your body. “N” is nonidentification/nonattachment, which means we do not stay attached to things.
In an interview with Wright, he said that the part of Buddhism that he defends is the claim that the reason we suffer is because we don’t see the world clearly, and that that’s also the reason we make other people suffer. In other words, it's the reason we’re often not happy and it's the reason we're often not good; that we are subject to illusions about ourselves, about the world, and if we could only clarify our vision, then we’d be happier and better people.
I have not set big goals for myself when it comes to meditation, but seeing the improvement and benefits it brings, meditation being part of my life moving forth is already set.
Rating: 3.75/5 (PS: the language used in the book is bombastic for me aiyoh~)
30/1/21 Sat: Accompanied dad to Brahm Centre at Macpherson to do the basic Dementia screening tests on Saturday morning. We thought his memory has suddenly gotten poorer since last year. I sat around waiting while dad did the half an hour-long test with a care coordinator. He completed three sections in all. AMT is where they ask simple questions like birthdate, address etc. Given my dad's primary school education standard and age, I was told he should have scored around 7-8 points, so she moved on to MMSE, where it involved more complex questions involving Maths, and again she said given his education level, he should score around 28. So, he indeed has issues with remembering things, especially new information and problems that need more brain-processing, so she advised for him to go to a Polyclinic Memory Clinic for a clinical check. She assured the test does not necessarily prove he has dementia, because other factors like stress, lack of intake of vitamin B12 etc also contributes to poorer memory.
EBAS-DEP are questions to determine the emotional state of a person, but on the contrary, the lower the score, it is the better. *Higher scores meant more depressed mental state.* Oh and she also mentioned playing mahjong and games to strengthen their cognitive skills or exercising can all help with memory. Whatever it is, I shall arrange for his clinical check soon and see how the results are.
31/1/21 Sun: Packed up some stuff in the morning as I prepare to move house, and mum was clearing the storeroom when she found some ceramic wares for us too! Met PY and Francine for baking in the afternoon. *We got pure flour, raw peanuts, cup noodles, pink Muscato, frozen pork belly and collar from Prime and Giant haha!* Literally spent 8 hours or so to bake the sesame and peanut cookies~ especially PY’s peanut cookies which she wanted to do from scratch, which meant we had to roast the raw peanuts, peel the skins, crush the nuts and then mix them with flour and icing sugar in the mixer before rolling them into small doughs for baking. *LOL my “QC” failed la… I tend to roll them into meatball-sized cookies!*
4/2/21 Thurs: First tuition with Triston. He speaks and writes very fast, sounds like an impatient kid, and his handwriting is untidy too… like me LOL! His mum would naturally nag at the ugly handwriting, but it just reflects his personality la haha. I recall how stubborn I was when people told me that I need to “change” my handwriting last time, and I never really listened but still made it in compositions, comprehensions, Social Studies and whatever written essay questions in high school and in university… oops keke. Yes, it could be disadvantageous to him when it comes to tests and examinations if the teachers cannot make out his writings, so hopefully I can get him to write it neater.
5/2/21 Fri: I’m glad Jean let me do some warm-ups on the Cadillac we’d see in the video I sent her at our third private lesson. She mentioned some moves were for advanced learners, but I still had a taste of “hanging” myself on the Cadillac! As no photos were allowed in class, I screenshot some moves I did from UYMP 유준상’s Youtube video~ Articulation of the spine slowly downwards ain’t easy for me, but it’s a challenge I’d take up anytime! We began the class with me lying down on a foam roller to balance myself while working out. Also stretched the obliques and lower back and quads on the Arc Barrel.
6/2/21 Sat: Had to meet a Carousell buyer last minute to sell her my old watch when Potato and FIL arrived in their van to help me carry most of my stuff over to PotaTOH’s new house. *FIL also helped bought a Panasonic microwave oven and rice cooker!* Two of us went nearby to buy mop, magiclean, broom etc for cleaning of the house. We roughly cleaned one of the bedrooms and moved all our things into that room, including Potato’s camp bed. Also fixed up one of the dining chairs from IKEA! *WL and WS popped over in the afternoon too haha~* MIL came over to meet us for dinner at the coffeeshop nearby in the evening, and we had a good chat at our place before leaving at night. The fan's light seemed bright enough for the living room now, but we'll see how everything is after all things are put into place. *It’s the beginning of stay at our new place for Potato though hehe.*
8/2/21 Mon: Went OCBC bank to take new bank notes and I wanted to buy Toto after lunch, but man the snaking queue looked like it would take me forever to reach the counter, so I saved up $2 haha. *Got none of the numbers correct even if I buy anyway.* Potato helped take the green tea cookies Francine baked and it tasted pretty nice, though a bit dry. Daniel and his worker installed the bathroom accessories, but Potato reflected that the common toilet’s shower head was leaking… reckon we got to report to BSC about that. *My Taobao loots arrived after two to three weeks on sea! Faster nowadays eh.*
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